Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Bubbleboy's Awaiting Departure from the Plastic World




So, for the past eighteen years of my life I've been living in a plastic bubble. Driving down the streets of downtown Boca, you will not fail to see an imported, luxury automobile, BMWs and Mercedes Benzes are constantly sighted at every intersection. Walking down the corridors of Mizner Park, you think your in a Stepford Wives movie set, almost everyone has one part of their body that is not real, from their easily spotted breast implants to their wrinkle-free faces from all those botox injections. Almost everyone is so immoral and corrupt, I mean what's the point of getting married, if you and your partner are just going to exchange "keys" with the next door neighbors, for those famous sexual escapades known in the back countries of England as "key parties" that still take place in Boca Raton, FL at this given day. And I'm not making any of these facts up, as Boca Raton is constantly made a mockery of in Hollywood films, daytime dramas, songs, amongst other mediums of media. Shortly after I was born in Long Island, New York, my mother and father decided to escape the hustle and bustle and fast pace life of New York and relocate to a slower pace, much more relaxed life in South Florida. At the age of two, you really do not have any complex understanding of life and it is not until you reach teen-land that you begin to understand reality. So from age two to about fourteen, I was too dumb to realize that I was living in a fantasy land. I lived a carefree life, enjoying my youth and taking a part in everything. My days, depending on the season, were spent either playing recreational baseball, basketball or soccer. And when not participating in athletics, I would live in my own little world with my friends, having numerous play dates at McDonalds, Boomers and many other venues, on a weekly basis. I was too dumb to know that I was living in a fairy tale. However, shortly after starting high school, and having developed my own mind and beginning to understand the reality of this affluent town, I began to have an inner hate for this paradise. My high school although public would be best described as a private school. Based on the parking lot and the student body, one would think that it was a private school. A good portion of the students left their lavishing and overpriced educations directly after middle school in order to attend one of the best public schools in the state of Florida. It wasn't till shortly after the beginning of high school that I began to wonder what I was doing in such a place. For most of my high school years, I was a pretty well known and happy kid, but I just was not going to live a lie of life like every other student at Spanish River. One minute everyone is friends and the next your best friend is sleeping with your girl friend, no thank you, I will not participate in these immature antics. Lunch time at River was a perfect representation of Mean Girls. Each click had their own table and it was like a war, most clicks kept to themselves and would not socialize with other people in other groups, it was quite detrimental to my social development to be quite honest. I guess the analogy holds true, children will imitate what they see, and it was apparent that the way these individuals were raised was complementary of their behavior. Everything in Boca Raton seems to be one big competition, from who has the smartest children to who has the hottest significant other. When I was of the age of a young Jewish adult, I went to a splurge of Bar Mitzvah ceremony, and each one I went to outdid the other. Religion has lost its' meaning in Boca and has become a mockery of who can show their the richest and powerful. Parents must have spent well over $500,000 at some of the celebrations I attended, with their elaborate decorations and entertainment. In high school, it was a competition of who could take the most Advance Placement or rigorous schedule and get into the best school. Funny enough, all of my classmates were denied by the top three ivy-leagues and other highly ranked schools such as Stanford, so that game did not work to that big of an extent. I remember in class one time, I heard some students discussing their senior year schedule, and the first question that was asked is how many advance placement courses your taking, and then one kid with a smerk said, all my courses are AP. I just got nauseous and wanted to set these kids in their place. Still some of them may be going to somewhat decent schools, but no one is going to Harvard, Yale, or Princeton, and the ones that managed to find their way into the top-tier schools are not doing much, so their parents can brag all they want, but their parents actually hurt them by telling them that they are so smart and now they go to these big schools and are average students. Then the best part of it all was sophomore year when everyone got their car and the parking lot was beginning to look like an exotic car dealership, from the slew or Range Rovers to the rows filled with BMWs. Fast forward two more years to senior years and let's look at some of the graduation gifts, oh yeah that's right, breast implants for little Jessica. Now I won't lie, I was handed the keys to a pretty nice car, so I won't be that much of a monday morning quarterback. Moving away from the superficiality that filled the halls of Spanish River, we move into my housing development. Now for some reason, my parents decided to move to a country club neighborhood and I've been living here for the past eighteen years of my life. At first, it was nice and all, with the huge resort style pool and two story gym, but now it's beginning to get really old. The people think there movie stars and that everyone should know who they are. They think there so much better than everyone else and are so ill mannered when it comes to interacting with the waiters, busboys and other employees at Woodfield. Never does a please or thank you come out of their mouth, just rude ass comments like "break a leg" or "what is taking so long, get my food or your not gonna get a tip". If there was not such a thing as the authorities, I would love to punish these people, just as I was when I was a younger rascal and disrespected my elders. There assed would be lobster red and there mouths would be stinging from all that soap and maybe with all of these enforcements, they would begin to check themselves and realize that there no different than the help or any of the residents that live in any of the subdivisions in Woodfield Country Club. The amount of wealth that occupies Boca Raton is unbelievable. Have you ever seen dog carried around in Louis Vuitton carryalls or sitting on Gucci seat covers at bagel shops? I mean, when there's a store called the doggie bakery, you know you're living in a fantasy world. And what's up with mother's dressing in the same skimpy outfits as their precocious teenage daughters, or with them not having one part of their body that is not artificial, it's like that song, "Barbie girl living in a barbie world", but there are plenty of Ken's too, and who knows, I bet you would not fail to find some fake Ron Jeremy who spent a ton of money on penile surgery just so he could have the longest schlong in Boca, it would definitely go along with the whole competition element. The last thing that I'm ready to leave is "God's waiting room". Boca Raton as described in a book is like a combination of an amusement park and waiting room for the old people. Every other street is occupied by a either senior citizen complex, nursing home, or assisted living residence. And you will not fail to see at ten people over the age of seventy five in any restaurant, shop, or other venue in the Boca/ Delray area. I do not mind old people, but I mind their constant complaining and miserable attitudes. If I could, I'd just dig holes for them and tell them to go in, as cynical as that sounds. I understand that older people have little patience, but seriously don't choose to live in a country club community and expect to not hear babies screaming in the street. As it may seem evident from this composition, I'm ready to break free and enter out into the real world once again. Time to take off my Rolex, stash my Italian designer wallet and slew of accessories, and sacrifice my Lexus for walking and public school transportation, and I do not care one bit about giving these luxuries up as I'm tired of living my life in a bubble, that is so secured and negatively diverse than any other area. Two months may seem short after living in this superficial land for the past eighteen years, but it's two months too many, and I'm anxiously looking forward to being around down to earth, middle class people who speak with polite diction such as "Yes m'aam and Please/ thank you". I can't wait for that fresh scent of Carolina and I'm ready to enjoy each and every bit of that everlasting smell of North Carolina.

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